Single, but not desperate
Updated: Sep 28, 2018
A big pet peeve of mine is when people ask me “why are you still single”, or they say, “you’re too pretty to be single.” And what exactly does that statement mean? Like in a real way are you trying to say if I was ugly then it would be okay to be single?! I am 28, no kids, working on my master's degree, working full time, Christ is the core of my life and I am beautiful! Everyone has their own things that they bring to the table and these are mine, so with all that said, I am not just going to settle for anyone.
I have standards! For a longtime I let being single eat at me because I want kids and I enjoy being in a relationship, but then I realized my worth and how much I have to offer, and I can’t just give that to anyone. My first relationship lasted six years and the main reason we stayed together was because I was afraid to be alone. I was broken, and I didn’t love myself, so I accepted anything... I felt like anyone was better than being alone.
I wasn’t confident in myself and I felt like if I ended the relationship then who else would want me? So, I dealt with a lot of cheating and disrespect. He even got someone pregnant while we were in a whole relationship. I dealt with so much because I was unaware of my worth. As I have grown over the years I realized that if I don’t know my own worth, how can I expect anyone else to know my worth.
What I didn’t know at the time was being single is not a bad thing.
It’s actually a time in your life when you can focus on yourself, find your purpose and figure out who you really are. Once you find yourself and discover your worth settling will not be an option. The worst thing you can do is allow your insecurities or self-doubt to keep you in a relationship you know you’re too good to be in!
It’s time to set standards because we have a lot to offer. My mom always said, “why settle for crumbs when you can have the whole loaf.” So, if anyone want to know why you are single the answer should be “because I have standards and I want the whole loaf!”
I might be single, but I am not desperate!
Life has taught me that when you are in a relationship you shouldn’t NEED the other person, but you should WANT them! You both should be able to stand alone as strong individuals, but when you two come together it’s a powerful force. Being in a relationship doesn't make you whole or happy if you weren’t whole or happy before the relationship.
Love yourself enough to be single for as long as you need to be. End toxic relationships because you are worth more! Stop settling for just anybody and don’t ever let anyone treat you like a cubic zirconia when you’re a precious diamond.
Love yourself, set standards and remember the only relationship you should be desperate for is a relationship with God!
Scripture- You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. ~Song of Songs 4:7
Song-I Bring Me ~Star